We recently hosted the first Christians in Tech Singles event—unsurprisingly, our most requested gathering. It turns out this interest isn’t unique. New York was named the toughest city for dating in a recent study, and with factors like a 24/7 culture, rising living costs, and the sheer density of people, it’s easy to see why connecting genuinely can feel nearly impossible. Even in this city that never sleeps, we often hear people admit they feel, well, kind of lonely.

And let’s be real, dating in New York can feel like a comedy of errors. And adding the layer of shared faith dramatically heightens the stakes. For many in our community, dating is not just about finding the one; it’s about finding someone who aligns with our values, who encourages our faith, and who stands beside us in both our spiritual and professional journeys. Easy right? So it’s no surprise many of us feel stuck between swiping and hoping for a miracle.

But here’s the thing: amidst the noise and busyness, the most important commandments remind us to love God and love others. And we don’t just mean in romance, but in every relationship we have—at work, with friends, and family. Every connection becomes a mirror, reflecting our faith in action.

The Intersection of Love, Work, and Faith

Some might wonder why we’d host a singles event for Christians in Tech. But consider this: we’re here to explore how faith can anchor us in all aspects of life, especially in work where we spend the most time. Work isn’t just about what we do; it’s about who we’re becoming. We’re shaped by the relationships we build, the challenges we face, and how we hold onto grace and purpose. And if there’s any city that tests those values, it’s New York—where our interactions are many, but genuine connections can feel rare.

Work often reflects how we live out our values: can we stay honest in a competitive world? Can we extend grace under pressure? Tech is about extending human capacity but also exposes how connected we are without truly connecting. Our vision is to help create space for real, grounded relationships in every part of life. Then, of course, romance would be at the top of the list in our pursuit of meaningful relationships. 

Singleness as a Season of Growth

Singleness, like any season, has a purpose. We’ve all been there at one point or another. And whether we’re single, married, or somewhere in between, relationships are complicated, but they are also where God’s love is most visible. If we’re called to love others as we love ourselves, it means finding peace in our own hearts first. A friend recently told me how frustrating it felt to be thriving in career and faith but when it came to their love life how not finding the one, almost felt like a rejection from God or feeling like somehow they might have strayed from their divine path.  

For many, that “missing piece” can feel like a gap that God hasn’t filled yet. But what if that gap is an invitation? What if that “empty” space is where God seeks us most? Those who came to the singles event—whether they met someone or not—took a step in trusting that God’s timing is perfect. Singleness isn’t a “pause”—it’s a season to grow, to know ourselves, and to prepare to love better.

Lean Into the Tension

New York is a city of high tension, moving fast with pressure to keep up, and while tech connects us, it also makes genuine connection harder. There’s a tension between wanting connection and fearing vulnerability. It’s easy to swipe, but showing up, being present, and putting faith into the possibility of something real takes courage. 

And it’s the same with our work. We can strive for that next project, promotion, or venture, but what happens when things don’t go as planned? Maybe those are divine opportunities to create margin—to be still, to lean into the discomfort, and to trust Him more deeply. 

I think about those quiet days in New York where the city seems to pause. It’s a rare thing, but when it happens, it gives us the space to reflect and to listen. In the quiet, God seeks us. He’s inviting us to trust, be still, and remember that He is good and present.

Whether you’re single or married, early in your career or a seasoned leader, we all need to lean into that tension and allow God to shape us through it.

Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, Touch—In Dating and All Relationships

One of the most impactful parts of the evening was a panel with Pastor Drew Hyun from Hope Church who shared his wisdom on relationships and emotionally healthy dating, one of the ministry programs he teaches. A key takeaway was breaking down five pillars and steps to building a healthy relationship: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, and Touch. High level, these steps remind us to build strong foundations in the right order. First, know someone before trusting them; trust before relying on them; rely before committing; and finally, commit before touching. Each step isn’t just about relationships but can apply to every connection we make. It’s about intentional, God-centered growth.

And just as Pastor Drew shared, this framework also turns the mirror back on us. Are we trusting too soon? Relying too much? This process reveals patterns we can work on, helping us to build relationships from a place of health, whether in dating or friendships.

Relationships—romantic or not—are complicated. We all carry patterns and stories that shape us. Maybe we rely on others more than we trust them, indicating codependency. Or maybe we crave connection without commitment, signaling fears of vulnerability. Recognizing these patterns isn’t about judgment; it’s about growth. As we pursue emotionally healthy connections, we’re aligning ourselves with God’s design for authentic, faithful relationships.

We’re invited to constantly seek growth in each step—knowing ourselves, trusting God, relying on His promises, committing our lives to His purposes, and ultimately letting His love touch every corner of our lives.

Showing Up

To everyone who applied to the event—whether you made it in or not—thank you. It takes courage to show up, and that’s what we’re building here: a community for every stage, for every season. God is in every connection, every story, and every space of growth. Whether we’re building friendships, pursuing romantic relationships, or finding purpose at work, He’s there, guiding us.

This journey is about knowing Jesus more, trusting Him more, and letting Him be the foundation of our lives. In every relationship and season, we’re building a life that reflects God’s love.

So, wherever you are in your journey—single, dating, married, or just figuring it out—I hope you know you are seen, you are valued, you are beloved and you’re exactly where you need to be. 

Remember, we’re all in this together, creating something beautiful here in New York. Let’s keep showing up, keep supporting each other, and keep seeking God’s love in every moment.

Thank you for being part of Christians in Tech, and here’s to showing up for each other in faith, friendship, and growth.

Blessings,

Andy

PS: Special S/O to DK, Katie, Grace, and Olivia for putting together an amazing program. And for Pastor Drew for blessing us with his time and wisdom.

If you think Christians in Tech is something you want to be a part of, invite one friend. Just one. (Or five. Or ten. We’re not picky). Help us spread the word, build the momentum, and see where God takes this. Here is the link: https://christians-in-tech.beehiiv.com/subscribe 

Whether you joined us at the singles event or not, we’re thrilled to share an upcoming course led by Pastor Drew Hyun, the lead pastor at Hope Church NYC: Emotionally Healthy Dating. Designed for anyone navigating dating, relationships, or simply curious about what makes a romantic relationship healthy, this free 3-week seminar is open to everyone—no Hope Church membership or Christian background required.

🗓 When: Thursdays, 7:30–9:00 PM (1/9, 1/16, 1/23 - 2025)

📍 Where: The Hub NYC, 109 E 31st St, New York, NY

💬 Whether single, dating, or engaged, this course offers fresh perspectives on dating with heart and head.

*Please spread the word and stay tuned for more city-wide resources in our next newsletter. If you have program suggestions, we’d love to hear from you!

Pre-Registration for Subscribers: Our events fill up quickly, so here’s your early invite to save your spot now!

Mark your calendars! On November 20th, we’re hosting Work & Faith, a unique event focused on integrating faith into the workplace. Expect engaging talks from leaders in diverse industries, valuable networking, and meaningful discussions on how faith intersects with our work.

Details:

🗓 When: November 20th, evening (exact time TBA)

📍 Where: TBD

Every one of our past events has been overbooked with a waitlist, so don’t wait. Also, share with your friends if they have not yet subscribed to Christians in Tech.

Other events in the works!

HOLIDAY MIXER: It will be great to see people before the year ends, so we are thinking of holding a holiday mixer/party. If you have any great ideas or know of any venues, please reach out!

SINGLES EVENT #2: We are planning our next singles event! For the 50+ applicants we were not able to accept for the first event, that was not a rejection! The first 50 selected applicants were based on matching (largely age), so the second singles event will focus on the other half of the demographic. Give us some time, it’s a lot of hard work to put these together but more details to come!

We’d love your help and support. If you have access to a venue, special skills (graphics, editing, writing, etc.), or any other way to serve and help build this community, I’d love to connect. Please fill out this form [HERE].

Current needs:

• Newsletter Design

• Beehiiv Support

• Graphic Design

• Product Design

• Copy Writing

• Venue Options

Christians in Tech isn’t just a one-and-done deal. We’re all about creating a space where you can connect with faith-based organizations, churches, nonprofits, and other cool folks around NYC. This isn’t a replacement for your church or ministry—it’s a way to add to it, help others get connected, and make sure your Sunday isn’t the only holy time in your week.